The Value of Your Personal Values

Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your personal values and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.

Personal values are those basic principles, ways of behavior, or basic belief tenets you would find exceptionally difficult to live without. There are many personal values including achievement, adventure, compassion, creativity, trustworthiness, determination, friendships, happiness, success, wisdom.

Knowing your personal values

What are your personal values? And where do they come from? First, there are many contributors to your values. Your family and the significant people in your life, both relatives and friends, make a contribution. Your religious beliefs, education, and life experiences all help you to discern how your values develop and just what they are. Why is this important? It’s important because when you plan to create a holistic, strategic approach for your life and career, your values will be the motor to drive you forward and to help you make the decisions about the kind of work you’ll do, the kind of position you’ll accept, the kind of company or organization you’ll join or move away from, and the kind of person you choose to be.

When you plan to create a holistic, strategic approach for your life and career, your values will be the motor to drive you forward and to help you make the decisions about the kind of work you’ll do, the kind of position you’ll accept, the kind of company or organization you’ll join or move away from, and the kind of person you choose to be.

We encourage you to take a look at your personal values. In our book, Time To Get Real! there is a brief exercise to help you to discern your personal values. To guide you, we refer you to a list of values, but remember that there may be a personal value you hold that is not on the list. Also, you might start out with a fairly long list of values you hold to be important, but we would encourage you not to have more than five to eight key values at the end of the exercise. As a matter of fact, you might find that some values are contained within others. For example, if you have a personal value of helping others, this might be listed as service to others or philanthropic/charitable work. Or if you have a personal value of education the value of learning could be a part of that. In any case, try to get down to the values that really matter to you.

Your behavior Reveals your values

You should be able, when your list of values is completed, to see just how the values you say you hold dear are apparent in your life. Once you have identified your most important values, it is important to then engage in behaviors that move you towards those values. This means committing to things you can do that are in line with them. Identify an action or behavior that will bring your life more in line with a particular value. For example, if a value of yours is “trustworthiness” notice if you are regularly engaging in trustworthy behavior. You can also ask a close friend or family member if they perceive your behavior as trustworthy.

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If you would like more information about discovering and living your values, we recommend reading chapter three in our book Time To Get Real! Knowing and living your values is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Finding More Joy in Your Life

Do you have feelings of joy every day?  During challenging times, joy can seem fleeting but there are ways to get closer to joy on a daily basis. 

It is easy to confuse joy with happiness, and although they are closely related and can occur simultaneously, these two emotions aren't identical. Happiness brings bursts of pleasure, excitement, or satisfaction, while joyfulness is a stronger, longer-term state that results in feelings of inner peace and contentment. 

"Whereas happiness can be easily manufactured, joy comes through setting up the right conditions for it to suddenly appear," says Forrest Talley, PhD., a clinical psychologist in California. "Happiness can be brought about by a good cup of coffee in the morning or a funny movie. Joy, on the other hand, is more difficult to cultivate." It can be a continuing process that takes time. 

Happiness brings bursts of pleasure, excitement, or satisfaction, while joyfulness is a stronger, longer-term state that results in feelings of inner peace and contentment. 

The benefits of feeling joy

And yet, it's worth it because of all the health benefits you get along the way. "Numerous studies suggest happiness and joy predict lower heart rate and blood pressure, as well as stronger immune systems, " says Susan Damico, M.A. director at the Devereux Center for Resilient Children. "Additionally, individuals who report having more positive emotions also have fewer illnesses, including minor aches and pains." Finding joy also leads to longer life spans, Talley says. Research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that happier individuals tended to live longer in 53% of the cases.

In our book Time To Get Real! we agree with the importance of focusing on joy. In chapter 2 entitled Joy, we ask you to look back on your life and consider what achievements and accomplishments gave you the most joy? What was the sense of accomplishment or joy you received from them? What are the discernable themes? And what is the importance of focusing on joy or happiness?

Where to find joy

Joy is derived in different ways for different people; however, we all know when we have it, we like it a lot and would love to keep it. Joy can come from various sources: your work, your interests, your family, your hobbies, things accomplished, challenges overcome, new experiences, and so on.

Joy can come from various sources: your work, your interests, your family, your hobbies, things accomplished, challenges overcome, new experiences, and so on.

To the extent possible, the more we can replicate in our lives and in our career that feeling of joy, the happier we will be. In our book, we ask you to write about several incidents in your life that produced joy. This is important when considering later aspects of the Life and Career Planning Model© and attempting to determine how to replicate those feelings through work and life. 

How to find joy

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We strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect on what brings you joy and then to actively seek to engage more with those sources. Reading chapter 2 in our book will help you with this.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Source: Natale, Nicol, 2020, ‘How to Find Joy in Your Everyday Life’, Prevention Magazine, July 7

Ready for a New Career?

According to a recent survey by the career site Monster, 95% of workers are currently considering changing jobs and 92% are willing to switch industries to land a new position. The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate many aspects of their lives including their current careers. People are ready to see what else is out there.

But how do you know what career move to make? How do you make sure you are heading in the right direction?

The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate many aspects of their lives including their current careers. People are ready to see what else is out there.

Getting Ready for Your Next Career Move

Our book Time To Get Real! provides a model that, if followed, gets you ready for that next career move. Chapter 10 in the book takes you through the process of evaluating your current position and uncovering just what your next position should look like. Previous chapters delve into the most important things you will need to know before saying yes to the next position. You are asked questions about your interests, your values, your desired work/life balance, your relationships, your financial needs, and so forth.

Once you have a clear picture of your needs and goals, you are asked to write a job description for the position you envision, noting the key ingredients of the work you want to do as part of your long career. The book provides you with clear examples and helps you create the necessary action steps to begin to move toward your next position.

Once you have a clear picture of your needs and goals, you are asked to write a job description for the position you envision, noting the key ingredients of the work you want to do as part of your long career.

Make the Best Decisions for Your Personal and Professional Life

Our recommendation is that you develop a complete life and career plan. Having this plan will allow you to make the best decisions for your personal and professional life so you can move forward to the life of your dreams.

We can help. Obtain the book Time To Get Real! (to buy the book, click here) and get started. You can also engage a Life and Career Planning coach who will provide a safe space for you to explore who you are, what you truly want in your life, and offer encouragement as you go. All Life and Career Planning coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© as shown in the book Time To Get Real! They also can coach you through the process of seeking your next position. Our coaching service is personal, and we serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises.

You can also watch this video of Alex Plinio talking about the job search process.

Don’t commit to that next job until you commit to your life and career planning development. To schedule a FREE introductory conversation with a certified Life and Career Planning coach, please fill out and submit the introduction form. You will be contacted within 24 hours. Click here to fill out the form.

The First Steps to Managing Your Finances Have Nothing to do With Money

When I was younger, I used to play video games. I would not consider myself at all a gamer by today's standards. We had a Nintendo 64 with game cartridges that you could still blow on to make them work. I used to love this Star Wars game called Rogue Squadron. You would fly around in an X-wing defending the Rebel base from the evil Empire. As you flew around, you would hit spots that would trigger cut scenes where the Empire would destroy buildings and you'd have to complete these side missions to complete the level. However, what was true of this game and many at the time was if you didn't see something happen - it didn't happen. So, in your multiple attempts at completing a level, you learned how to avoid certain areas to keep those cut scenes from being triggered. In other words, you didn’t want any surprises even though you knew that those surprises were just around the corner.

It seems like, in life, we've adopted a similar attitude. If we don't see something happening, it doesn't happen. It makes sense - we go toward things that give us pleasure and avoid the things that don't. But, in reality, things are happening outside our view.

Everyone looks at their bank account and wishes they had more

The truth is - almost no one grows up talking about money and it is seldom we learn about it in school. Everyone looks at their bank accounts and wishes they had more. Everyone thinks about all the decisions they could have made - how they could have started saving and investing earlier. Everyone at some point looks at things to come, whether it's immediate bills or future goals, and wonders “how I will do this?”

Everyone at some point looks at things to come, whether it's immediate bills or future goals, and wonders “how I will do this?”

We live in a world where it's effortless to swipe our cards and pay for things. We have built a world that much like the video game, so long as we don't see the mountain of debt piling up, it isn't happening. So long as the card keeps swiping, I can carry on with my day. We do this with all areas of life; how many people only see the doctor when they are sick? Only go to the dentist when their tooth hurts? Only get their car checked when the light comes on? Like the video game, we've learned to navigate our world while desperately hoping to avoid setting off any of those side missions. Like the video game, if I don't go to the dentist, he can't tell me I have a cavity, and therefore, I don't have one now and don't have to think about it. But, maybe, just maybe if I flossed every day, I could avoid the pain of a cavity.

manage your money Better

If you're reading this, there is a good chance you hit a trigger and now you want to figure out what to do. Here is some advice: the chapter on Financial Planning in the book Time To Get Real! is a gift. I found it important, and I know that it will help you to better manage your money.

First, as the Japanese philosopher, Musashi once said, "It will be difficult at first, but all things are difficult at first." We forget how difficult it was to walk at first, but now we do so without thinking about it. We forget how much we struggled with basic math, and now we exchange currencies and schedule times to meet without thinking about it. We forget how difficult it was the first time you met someone you liked, and now you're living with someone and maybe having a family. All things take time. The more you do something, the more comfortable you will become doing it. This also applies to money management and financial planning.

Second, let's deal with that c-word, comfortability. Most people I know are not comfortable with their finances. There is enormous anxiety over even talking about money or checking their bank account. Being comfortable or uncomfortable are emotional responses, which may be difficult to manage. Here are few tips I have learned:

1. We can be hurt more by our expectations than the action themselves. This is true in multiple ways. Sometimes, we are hurt more by our expectations of people's actions than the actual actions themselves. At other times, we are hurt more by our expectation of checking our account and having $5,000 than the actual action of logging in and finding we only have $1,000.

2. We are not robots that can switch emotions on or off. Human beings experience an array of emotions. From a very young age, we are told we need to control our emotions, which often translated to when we got upset, we were supposed to flip a switch and stop behaving in a way that didn't align with what someone else thought was acceptable. The psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl once wrote, "between stimulus and response, there is space." It's okay to feel anxious, angry, or whatever emotion you are feeling about your financial situation. When that happens, you can identify how you are feeling and choose how to manage that feeling. If you feel anxious, decide to take a deep breath and move forward. There are thousands of free resources.

3. You are not alone. Everyone should have a system of support, whether that's family and friends or professionals. Whether you realize it or not, there are a lot of people in this world who want to help you. The professionals can come from your bank, your investment or insurance company, or from a financial planner.

You are not alone. Everyone should have a system of support, whether that's family and friends or professionals. Whether you realize it or not, there are a lot of people in this world who want to help you.

Third, be okay with where you are today. You have to start from someplace and here today is the someplace. We live in a world of overstimulation and oversharing. It is so easy to compare yourself to others and think less of yourself because of it. Remember, you don't know their whole story, and quite frankly, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about the things you could have done or should have done. Just focus on yourself, and wherever you are in the process, be okay with that. No matter where you are starting, it is better than never starting at all. But start you must.

Finally, we don't all start at the same place - and you need to accept that. The world is not a fair and equal place. Every one of us is on our own journey. No one can travel that path for you. You have to accept that. You have to own that. You can’t rewrite your past, but you can be the author of your future.

There are a ton of books out there about money, personal finance, investing, etc. It feels like most people don't take advantage of those or are in a place to learn from them because of one of the things I've listed above. We've built a society that entraps people into addictions. If you found this article because of trigger points, like a check bouncing, not having enough money to pay your bills, etc., be careful not to fall back into those habits that led you here. It seems like many people do well for some time, start to see progress, and then fall back into those old habits like spending too much, saving too little, or impulse shopping. Get to know your triggers and follow your plan.

There are a ton of books out there about money, personal finance, investing, etc.

I hope this article was beneficial to you. If you take nothing else from it, remember you are not alone. There are many people - like the life and career coaches at Life and Career Planning - who can help you develop and stick to a plan that is right for you. So, show your strength and ask for help if you need it.

Guest Blog by Jason Khurdan

Jason is the Manager of Central Services, Rutgers Access & Disability Resources, Rutgers University. His role is to work with individuals with disabilities to ensure equal access at Rutgers. He specializes in Assistive Technology (AT) and leads a team that works with individuals one-on-one to recommend and implement various resources. In addition to his work with individuals with disabilities in higher education, he has previously owned his own non-profit, which mentored children in Newark from K-12. Jason is also a Certified Life and Career Planning Coach.

In addition to the work he does at Rutgers, he builds websites and does small business consulting. He has sat on many strategic planning committees for large publishing companies and previously chaired the group across the Big Ten, which focused on course accessibility.

In his spare time, he practices a Japanese martial art called Aikido, which focuses on creating harmony. When not on the mat, Jason enjoys 3D design and 3D printing. 

Click here to send us a message. We welcome your comments on this blog.

Follow us through our blogs and the book Time To Get Real! to your desired future. For in-person and telephonic coaching, click here to send us a message

Click here to purchase our book Time To Get Real!

Getting Real with Myself

As a child, one of the most common questions you are asked is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Now, I completely understand the good intent behind this question, we want kids to dream and learn and imagine all of the possibilities for their lives. As a child, your view of the world is quite narrow, you only know what you can see or what you are taught. Because of this, doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers, police officers, firefighters are all popular choices in an elementary school career day. None of these things seemed like they were for me, and I always felt uneasy about having a specific career be such a central focus from such a young age. Everything felt like it was about what are we going to do now to reach that goal. The focus was always on what you could do, what transferrable skills do you have. Honestly, this approach led me to believe there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t think of a job I wanted to do; I just knew that I wanted to do something to make a difference in people’s lives. What that was, I had no clue, and because my ideas were so abstract, I assumed they didn’t count. I continued on to high school and college, never really sure of my path, but just following the steps everyone else did, hoping I’d figure it out eventually.

I wasn’t completely aimless. I had some general ideas about what I cared about, but I struggled to ascertain what any of it meant. As the years went on, I went from high school to a very choppy college experience, always thinking that if I found the right school, the right program, the right community that I would figure out what I was supposed to do. I had a handful of very valuable experiences, but nothing that ever led anywhere I deemed as ‘real.’ Perhaps I would have if I was focusing on who I wanted to become rather than what I was going to do.

“As the years went on, I went from high school to a very choppy college experience, always thinking that if I found the right school, the right program, the right community that I would figure out what I was supposed to do.”

I wanted a different life

Fast forward past college, my search continued. This call center job, that marketing job, a human resources position, I tried to no avail, but everything felt off. I felt like I was just going through the motions, I was good at my work, but it never filled me up, and because I never felt fulfilled, I wasn’t bringing my best self to the table. I couldn’t access her when I was doing these jobs because these jobs weren’t bringing me closer to who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to just go to work for 40 hours a week to check a box, but I figured this was just what is supposed to happen when you grow up.

When we found ourselves in the middle of a pandemic, everyone seemed to be asking more questions of themselves. When we saw in such a stark way, just how precious life is, it caused me to pause and consider whether just putting my life on autopilot was my only option. I felt like I had tried so many things and none of them fulfilled me in the way that I was hoping. I kept thinking there had to be something more, and during this time I began interrogating my own thoughts and choices. I was presented with the opportunity to go through the Life and Career Planning model.

I will be completely honest; when I first saw what it entailed, my anxiety went through the roof. I was not used to putting my ideas for my future on paper because I honestly didn’t really have any idea what I wanted my future to look like, and that was terrifying. As I worked through the model, I became a different kind of scared. I had now put out into the world what I dreamt, and I could no longer hide from it or claim that I didn’t know what I wanted or that the things I imagined for myself weren’t even in the realm of possibility.

Changing the way I see myself

Each step built on the ones before it, and as I worked my way through, I began to see how connected everything in my life was. It helped me to identify things that truly matter to me and how I can best make an impact on the world. I have never felt comfortable with defining myself by a job title or what I do. I am also uncomfortable with creating a vision of who I want to be, but it’s the kind of discomfort that forces action. It’s a pretty powerful thing to take back your identity from what you believe you should be and focus more on who you want to be, what are your values, what brings you joy, how you relate to others. This model has changed the way I see myself.

“Each step built on the ones before it, and as I worked my way through, I began to see how connected everything in my life was. ”

I was daunted by the first chapter asking about interests, thinking I had none, but I soon learned that was far from true. I didn’t think the other things about me mattered until I figured out what the heck I wanted to do with my life. What I hadn’t realized was that those were the things about me that were going to help reveal my purpose. It also helped me to identify areas for development. As I worked through this model, I began to realize that my confidence was the biggest thing that was holding me back. The model forced me to write down and talk about my strengths and weaknesses in a way I had feared in the past. I have been learning to become less timid about what I have to offer. I may not have the experience that I had anticipated having at this point in my life, but I have had life experiences that have helped me become the person I need to be for what comes next. I am not a robot who can be automated to do specific tasks, and that is okay, processes can be learned.

Being less afraid of what comes next

When it came time to put it all together in my action plan, one thing was clear-- if I had taken this type of approach to my life when I was younger, I may not have spent as much time jumping around and feeling like there was something wrong with me. Rather than blaming myself for time lost, I decided I could leverage those experiences to help others through similar uncertainties. I began brainstorming ways that I could do this and decided that my action plan would include steps to reach young people who are at their own crossroads and help them to be less afraid of what comes next by putting them in the driver’s seat.

Nell Schreck- “Working through this model has not changed who I am, it has revealed who I have always been and given me the confidence to bring that person into the world.”

I am a human being who brings my lived experience to take a holistic view of situations, connects with empathy, acts with integrity, and is guided by purpose. As Glinda, the good witch says in The Wizard of Oz, “You’ve had the power all along my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.” Working through this model has not changed who I am, it has revealed who I have always been and given me the confidence to bring that person into the world.

Guest blog by Nell Schreck, Director of Operations, Legacy Teams

Nell has always been involved in supporting the growth of people. Her strengths in communications and social media have allowed her to connect at all levels within businesses. She is a graduate of Temple University with a degree in Broadcasting and Communications. She also spent time at The Washington Center in DC where she did investigative reporting. Nell has a natural ability to ask the right questions and diagnose critical needs. Her attention to detail and passion for bringing people together makes her a great asset to Legacy Teams.

Click here to send us a message. We welcome your comments on this blog.

Follow us through our blogs and the book Time To Get Real! to your desired future. For in-person and telephonic coaching, click here to send us a message

Click here to purchase our book Time To Get Real!