Make the Most of the New Year – Design Your Future and Develop a Personal Vision Statement

This coming new year, instead of making resolutions, we suggest that you develop a personal vision statement. A personal vision statement is a vivid account that describes what your life will be like at some future date and is based on your values and goals. It is focused on both personal and professional goals and is intended to orient you toward your long-term dreams.

A recent article in Forbes describes why a personal vision statement is important. “You would consider it foolish for a person to drive around aimlessly looking for a destination without an address, directions, or a map. For the very same reasons, it’s foolish to maneuver throughout life without a roadmap or plan.

It's often said that ‘If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.’ Creating a roadmap will help you stay focused and on the right path to achieve your long-term goals.”

Why You Need A Personal Vision Statement

Most individuals have an easier time thinking about what the next month or year might be like for them. It gets a bit more difficult when peering into a future that could be three, five, or ten years from now. For some people, it’s hard to do this since we are asking our minds to picture a state of life that’s quite intangible in the present time. However, just as a company or organization develop their vision, an individual is no less in need of knowing what their future is expected to look like.

The Forbes article states additional benefits to developing a personal vision statement. “Having a written personal vision allows you to plan the most efficient course to your goals. It allows you to have the clarity of when to say “yes” or “no” to things based on your own personal values and vision. It also helps you to spot potential hazards or roadblocks before you’re impacted by them.”

A personal vision statement is a vivid account that describes what your life will be like at some future date and is based on your values and goals. It is focused on both personal and professional goals and is intended to orient you toward your long-term dreams.

This is the focus of the chapter Personal Vision in our book Time To Get Real! Wouldn’t it be great if you could peer through the window of the future and see exactly the way things will be for you three or five years from now? It would be great, but you can’t do it. The best you can do is to narratively depict that future as you want to see it with as much detail as possible so that you can almost feel as if you will one day inhabit that vision. So, a personal vision describes what your tomorrow will look like. The vision itself has great value since it is a magnet pulling you toward your future. In addition, a vision will have multiple uses in the present. It can help you to decide if that job offer can be accepted or whether buying that home fits into your plans.

Not only is a personal vision a tool to be deployed for decision-making, but it is also aspirational, motivational, and becomes a driving force when reviewed on a periodic basis. A vision can be shared with others to demonstrate that you have thought about and made decisions about where you want to take your life. This is especially helpful when seeking mentoring from trusted individuals or preparing for a job interview.

Although it may not be possible to achieve 100% of your personal vision, even the achievement of 70, 80, or 90% of your vision can be extremely satisfying. It may not be possible to get everything you want. However, without a vision, and without trying to attain it, it’s unlikely that you will get what you want.

Now that you know the importance and benefits of developing a personal vision, in the next blog, we will describe how to carefully craft your vision.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

This book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

The Five Personality Traits for a Long, Healthy Life

Many of us are motivated to live a long and healthy life. When it comes to strategies for slowing down the aging process, exercise and nutrition are very important, but personality traits also factor into the equation. According to a November 2021 article in Time Magazine, “Recent research shows that several personality traits predict who will enjoy health into their 80s and beyond. According to some studies, the link between personality and longevity is as strong as intelligence or how much money you have, both of which are correlated with longer lifespans . . . The following five traits can be cultivated for a long, healthy life: conscientiousness, purpose, optimism, extraversion, and a lack of neuroticism.”

We encourage you to read the Time Magazine article (click here for a link to the article) to learn more about these five personality traits. For this blog, we will focus on purpose. The article states, “Another good quality for longevity is being purposeful, or having a direction in life with clear goals that energize you. Those who say that they have a life purpose recover faster from aggravations such as viewing pictures of pollution and other disturbing scenes. They also tend to have more brain volume in an area of the brain that’s linked to self-awareness and decision-making.”

Develop Your Personal Mission Statement

Defining your purpose is one aspect of a Life and Career Planning Model©, featured in our book Time To Get Real! that helps individuals to be more intentional about their life and career while employing a strategic life plan. At Life and Career Planning, we ask individuals we are teaching or coaching to write a statement that describes their life’s purpose or mission. For most people, this is not an easy exercise. It requires thinking about all the dimensions of your life, your relationships, your work, your personal motivations, and in some sense your spiritual or humanistic beliefs. A personal mission statement offers clarity and gives you a sense of purpose. It helps define who you are and how you will live. Frankly, it’s much easier to write a description of a job you want than to answer the question – why am I here?

For most people, this is not an easy exercise. It requires thinking about all the dimensions of your life, your relationships, your work, your personal motivations, and in some sense your spiritual or humanistic beliefs.

A number of years ago Alex Plinio, author of Time To Get Real! had the opportunity to work with Frances Hesselbein, the CEO of the Girl Scouts of America, who had been named as the best executive leader in the United States in business, nonprofit, or government fields. She talked about the need that people have for a hope beyond the change experienced in their daily lives. She said that the need was for an anchor, a purpose, which provided meaning for their life and their work. We believe everyone needs this, but few people take the time to think about it and to provide that meaning for themselves.

Purpose statements can be quite powerful in motivating a person toward their specific life’s vision. An individual’s vision is that future place to which they hope to arrive. The statement can help with decision-making in all aspects of one’s life. For example, when offered that new job, your purpose can make that decision a lot easier As Francis Hasselbein has observed, a well-thought-out statement provides an anchor in life’s sea of change.

Align Your Life and Career Plan with Your Purpose

We strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect and develop your own purpose statement. Aligning all the parts of your life and career plan with your purpose is like fitting the pieces of a puzzle together. It provides the opportunity to make your life better and helps you feel good about your place in the world. Let your purpose strengthen your resolve, help you to make decisions, and bring you a level of comfort. We have helped many individuals through this process and we can help you. To contact us, click here.

To buy the book, click here.
Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

A Model to Help You Make Better Decisions

We all make decisions. They may be easy or difficult. Some don’t require very much thought but others can impact our life, our career, or other individuals who are important to us. For those decisions that have great meaning for our life and our work, it’s important to do the best possible job that we can in reaching conclusions that will be to our benefit.

At Life and Career Planning, we developed a decision-making process based on research of numerous decision-making models. Below is a graphic depiction of the process. Its application is not for the easy or day-to-day decisions we all make. We suggest using it when a serious life or career problem or opportunity arises. You will note that to make the best decision possible, your personal values, mission, and vision must be central to the decision-making process. Review the model and then review the case study we provide as an example.

Here is an example of how to use the Decision-Making Process.

 Case Study:

1.     Identify and Define Cedric is a very experienced and knowledgeable technology executive. He has been working for his company’s CEO for just over a year. He is upset and frustrated because the CEO, who is experienced in technology but not as much as Cedric, continually pushes back on Cedric when Cedric is taking independent action. The CEO wants to control a broad array of decision-making as applied in the technology arena. He seems to do it because he likes the field, rather than because it is necessary to get the desired results. Cedric likes the company and his position in it except for the fact that he and the CEO clash more often than not over Cedric’s independent role and the decisions he is making.

2.     Gather Information Cedric needs to spend time in self-assessment and reflection regarding his frustration with his boss’ micromanagement. He can also do some research about the technology job market to understand the viability of changing jobs.

3.     Create Alternatives

• Cedric can just continue to put up with the boss’ behavior and make an effort to not let it bother him so much

• Cedric can speak with this boss and let him know that he is frustrated with the micromanagement and suggest a period of time that the boss lets Cedric make the technology decisions and see if the boss can become comfortable with that arrangement

• Cedric can go to the head of human resources (HR) and see if they can set up a meeting with the boss to discuss the micromanagement. Maybe HR can have some influence

• Cedric can look for a similar position in another organization

4.     Evaluate Each Alternative

• Put up with the behavior: Cedric is feeling frustrated and undervalued and this is demotivating. This is tolerable in the short run but in the long run, Cedric can’t live with that level of stress and frustration. This is not a viable option for Cedric

• Speak with the boss: This risk here is that the boss may reject Cedric’s request to let him make the technology decisions and Cedric has now potentially angered the boss and his career situation is unresolved. On the other hand, the boss may be unaware of how this is impacting Cedric and may be willing to back off and let Cedric do his job. This seems like a viable alternative for Cedric

• Go to HR: While it might be helpful to have HR intervene with the boss, it also could anger the boss that Cedric didn’t address the issues directly with the boss. Cedric is a senior executive and should attempt to manage this himself first. This is not a first-choice alternative

• Look for a new job: There are many unknowns when changing jobs – Cedric might have to move, there is no guarantee that his relationship with a new boss would be a good one, and changing jobs may increase his commute. This alternative is most likely a last resort since Cedric should ask for what he wants where he is before going elsewhere

5.     Decide on an Alternative

Cedric decides to have a conversation with his boss. He prepares for the conversation by discussing the issue in-depth with a trusted colleague in another organization and plans a strategy for the discussion.

6.     Implement

Cedric makes a late afternoon appointment to meet with this boss. He has practiced how he will present the issue to his boss. Although he feels some anxiety, he calmly makes his presentation and suggests that the boss allow him to make all the technology decisions for 60 days, and then they will have a follow-up meeting to debrief and agree on how to proceed.

7.     Review the Outcome

Cedric’s boss has been unaware of how his micromanaging has impacted Cedric. The boss agrees to Cedric’s 60-day proposal. Cedric will need to revisit this step 7 of the Decision-Making Process after the 60-day period is over.  If Cedric is happy with the outcome, he has accomplished his desired outcome. If the boss reverts to his micromanaging ways, Cedric will need to repeat the process using the learning from the first alternative he chose and choose a different alternative.

For those decisions that have great meaning for our life and our work, it’s important to do the best possible job that we can in reaching conclusions that will be to our benefit.

Making better decisions is certainly important in one’s life as well as career. Of course, there is no more important decision than to determine your life’s vision, where it is that you would like to arrive and be the happiest person you can be in both your life and career. If you can do that, you will place yourself way ahead of the competition.

In our book Time To Get Real!, we provide the reader with a market and time-tested guide to help them lead an intentional life. The guide is the Life and Career Planning Model© which helps you take control and directs you through a strategic planning process leading to actions that result in personal and professional success.

The Life and Career Planning Model© life and the Decision-Making Process described above are tools that can move you forward in a positive direction. The Life and Career Planning Model© has been used in our coaching of individuals across all age groups. It works!

To buy the book, click here. Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching processes and fees are both flexible to accommodate a broad spectrum of individuals. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

The Benefits of a Strong Corporate Culture

Being part of a positive organizational culture is important for your professional success and job satisfaction. If you work somewhere where the culture is a good fit, you’re more likely to develop better relationships with managers and coworkers and be more productive.

According to an article in Forbes, “To be effective, a culture needs to be embraced by everyone. When an employee sees that the company’s values are shared and rules are followed at every level, they feel secure and included and can be more productive in the workplace.

When employees feel supported in their surroundings, they’re more likely to be driven by a desire to understand new things. Daily routine becomes an adventurous journey where people can discover themselves and enhance their performance.”

Do Your company’s values align with yours?

In our book, Time To Get Real!, chapter 8 asks you to consider the company you work for and any organizations for which you volunteer. It doesn’t matter if you are working for compensation or freely giving of your time and effort in a volunteer activity, work is work. Whether it is a business, government, or nonprofit organization, a mission or purpose, values, and culture will exist within that organization. Aligning yourself with your organization, whether receiving compensation or not, is important for your own personal comfort and commitment.

Research has shown that when people match their personal values to the values of the company, employees are happier and more engaged.

Look at the mission of the organization for whom you work or volunteer. In the book, we ask you to compare it to what you have learned about yourself – values, purpose, life balance, etc. Does the organization's mission help to maximize your strengths while providing development opportunities? Does the mission conflict in any way with your own purpose or is it complimentary? Research has shown that when people match their personal values to the values of the company, employees are happier and more engaged. In addition, mission and values alignment is a quality that is common to high-performance organizations.

Corporate values represent the guiding principles of the organization’s culture. These values shape the culture of the company, which is represented by consistent, observable patterns of behavior in organizations. It is “the story” that is embedded in the people of the organization and that story is reinforced by the values and rituals seen every day.

For example, some organizations might focus on teamwork as a value. But, if staff members are highly competitive, don’t share information, or support one another on team projects, it’s easy to discern lip service is being given to this value. In other organizations, a value might be the development of human resources. That organization might have a substantial number of training programs, provide for rotational assignments, and have a tuition reimbursement policy. The values and company behavior alignment are more easily seen here.

What do you do if your values don’t align?

Think about this for your own situation and organization. Just as there is no perfect life, there is no perfect job. We are quite fortunate when we can get 80% of what we want in our workplace, and this, in turn, gives us the strength to handle the other 20%. If in your case you have a good match with your company on mission, values, and culture, see if you can get what you want where you are by tweaking one or two things to make it more comfortable for you.

If you are in a state of conflict and you are uncomfortable in your workplace, then have the courage to make the move you need to make to achieve your life and career goals.

However, if you are in a state of conflict and you are uncomfortable in your workplace, then have the courage to make the move you need to make to achieve your life and career goals. The Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book Time To Get Real! will help you develop your plan to move forward in a positive direction.

To buy the book, click here. Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Source: Ivanov, Vasiliv, 2020, ‘The Importance of Corporate Culture in a Company’s Everyday Operations’, Forbes, October 7

Assessing your Strengths and Opportunities for Development

At a reunion of the Harvard Business School class of 1963, the alumni were asked to share advice as they look back over their careers*. There is much wisdom to be gleaned from their experience and perspective. A couple of the comments really stood out to us regarding personal and professional development.

Here is what George Mosher from the class of ‘63 had to say:

“Think through your strengths and weaknesses. Work hard with your strengths and work with other people to balance your weaknesses.”

And from Gerald Wolin:

“Make sure you truly know who you are, your strong points and weaknesses. A solid self-assessment is an important step in the right direction. Many of us do not do this to the full extent.” 

Identify your abilities and limitations

We explore this very topic of strengths and weaknesses in our book Time To Get Real! Chapter 7 looks at personal and professional strengths and areas of development and poses the questions, “What are your personal and professional strengths, and what plans do you have, or could you have to further develop your skills and abilities?” An individual can’t accept their limitations or assets unless they can identify them and be honest about them. What are your strengths and areas requiring personal development? How do you find out what they are if you don’t already know?

Much depends upon an individual’s focus on those strengths to acquire, build, or maintain them. In addition, individuals learn throughout their life, whether formally or through experience.

First, we understand that the strengths that an individual has can dramatically change over time. For example, the ability to play a specific sport may diminish. Other strengths, like being able to lead a large number of individuals at work, might increase. Strengths, identified as areas of specific power, energy, knowledge, skill, or intensity that one embodies and can rely upon, are different today than they were yesterday and could be different tomorrow. Much depends upon an individual’s focus on those strengths to acquire, build, or maintain them. In addition, individuals learn throughout their life, whether formally or through experience. We believe learning is life-long; therefore, personal development is life-long.

Prepare for the future

Personal development is defined by an individual’s actions, which improve awareness and self-identity and develop talents, skills, and potential. A company that Time To Get Real! co-author, Alex Plinio, worked for had a motto, “The future belongs to those who prepare for it.” This means that plans for your future can be better achieved if you develop the skills and abilities for who you want to become. In our book, you will take an honest look at areas that need or are desired for improvement. Have you performed a serious self-assessment? What have others told you about your performance, personality, and behaviors?

Plans for your future can be better achieved if you develop the skills and abilities for who you want to become.

Weakness and the need for personal development is a part of human nature. Many people are aware of their weaknesses and should remember that weaknesses can stop us from achieving our goals. We need to recognize our weaknesses so that we can surmount or manage them. You also need to understand that if weakness cannot be overcome, there are ways to help. For example, organizing your team at work and making sure those team representatives have strengths in areas in which you may be weak. Or at home, agreeing with family members that certain responsibilities can be divided appropriately.

Take the first step toward development

To initiate and sustain changes in yourself can take a day or a lifetime. The change that you seek can be made with grit and determination, but you have to mean it. And the only way to start is to start. Choose the area of development in which you seek change, commit yourself to that change, and take your first step. It will lead to the next. Remember, we can help.

To buy the book, click here

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

*To read more advice from the Harvard Business School class of 1963, click here.

The Power of Your Purpose Statement

When teaching or coaching individuals, we ask that they write a statement that describes their life’s purpose or mission. For most people this is not an easy exercise. It requires thinking about all the dimensions of your life, your relationships, your work, your personal motivations, and in some sense your spiritual or humanistic beliefs. A personal mission statement offers clarity and gives you a sense of purpose. It helps define who you are and how you will live. Frankly, it’s much easier to write a description of a job you want than to answer the question – why am I here?

A number of years ago Alex Plinio, author of Time To Get Real! had the opportunity to work with Frances Hesselbein, the CEO of the Girl Scouts of America, who had been named as the best executive leader in the United States in business, nonprofit, or government fields. She talked about the need that people have for a hope beyond the change experienced in their daily lives. She said that the need was for an anchor, a purpose, which provided meaning for their life and their work. We believe everyone needs this, but few people take the time to think about it and to provide that meaning for themselves.

We believe everyone needs a specified purpose, but few people take the time to think about it and to provide that meaning for themselves.

According to a 2018 article in the New York Times, “Only about a quarter of Americans strongly endorse having a clear sense of purpose and of what makes their lives meaningful, while nearly 40 percent either feel neutral or say they don’t. This is both a social and a public health problem: Research increasingly suggests that purpose is important for a meaningful life — but also for a healthy life.”

How to develop a purpose statement of your own

Our book Time To Get Real! examines those key aspects of your life and career, which enable you to understand your life’s mission or purpose. For example, chapter 5 in our book will take you step by step through developing your own purpose statement. You are asked to answer a number of questions such as – To what am I committed and what do I consider as non-negotiable in my life? What are the experiences, feelings, people, and values that are important to me?

You are asked to answer a number of questions such as – To what am I committed and what do I consider as non-negotiable in my life? What are the experiences, feelings, people, and values that are important to me?

Purpose statements can be quite powerful in motivating a person toward their specific life’s vision. The statement can help with decision making in all aspects of one’s life. As Francis Hasselbein has observed, a well thought out statement provides an anchor in life’s sea of change.

Align your life and career plan with your purpose

We strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect and develop your own purpose statement. Aligning all the parts of your life and career plan with your purpose is like fitting the pieces of a puzzle together. It provides the opportunity to make your life better and helps you feel good about your place in the world. Let your purpose strengthen your resolve, help you to make decisions, and bring you a level of comfort.

To buy the book, click here

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Source: Khullar, Dhruv, 2018, ‘Finding Purpose for a Good Life, But Also a Healthy One’, The New York Times, January 1

Ready for a New Career?

According to a recent survey by the career site Monster, 95% of workers are currently considering changing jobs and 92% are willing to switch industries to land a new position. The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate many aspects of their lives including their current careers. People are ready to see what else is out there.

But how do you know what career move to make? How do you make sure you are heading in the right direction?

The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate many aspects of their lives including their current careers. People are ready to see what else is out there.

Getting Ready for Your Next Career Move

Our book Time To Get Real! provides a model that, if followed, gets you ready for that next career move. Chapter 10 in the book takes you through the process of evaluating your current position and uncovering just what your next position should look like. Previous chapters delve into the most important things you will need to know before saying yes to the next position. You are asked questions about your interests, your values, your desired work/life balance, your relationships, your financial needs, and so forth.

Once you have a clear picture of your needs and goals, you are asked to write a job description for the position you envision, noting the key ingredients of the work you want to do as part of your long career. The book provides you with clear examples and helps you create the necessary action steps to begin to move toward your next position.

Once you have a clear picture of your needs and goals, you are asked to write a job description for the position you envision, noting the key ingredients of the work you want to do as part of your long career.

Make the Best Decisions for Your Personal and Professional Life

Our recommendation is that you develop a complete life and career plan. Having this plan will allow you to make the best decisions for your personal and professional life so you can move forward to the life of your dreams.

We can help. Obtain the book Time To Get Real! (to buy the book, click here) and get started. You can also engage a Life and Career Planning coach who will provide a safe space for you to explore who you are, what you truly want in your life, and offer encouragement as you go. All Life and Career Planning coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© as shown in the book Time To Get Real! They also can coach you through the process of seeking your next position. Our coaching service is personal, and we serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises.

You can also watch this video of Alex Plinio talking about the job search process.

Don’t commit to that next job until you commit to your life and career planning development. To schedule a FREE introductory conversation with a certified Life and Career Planning coach, please fill out and submit the introduction form. You will be contacted within 24 hours. Click here to fill out the form.

The First Steps to Managing Your Finances Have Nothing to do With Money

When I was younger, I used to play video games. I would not consider myself at all a gamer by today's standards. We had a Nintendo 64 with game cartridges that you could still blow on to make them work. I used to love this Star Wars game called Rogue Squadron. You would fly around in an X-wing defending the Rebel base from the evil Empire. As you flew around, you would hit spots that would trigger cut scenes where the Empire would destroy buildings and you'd have to complete these side missions to complete the level. However, what was true of this game and many at the time was if you didn't see something happen - it didn't happen. So, in your multiple attempts at completing a level, you learned how to avoid certain areas to keep those cut scenes from being triggered. In other words, you didn’t want any surprises even though you knew that those surprises were just around the corner.

It seems like, in life, we've adopted a similar attitude. If we don't see something happening, it doesn't happen. It makes sense - we go toward things that give us pleasure and avoid the things that don't. But, in reality, things are happening outside our view.

Everyone looks at their bank account and wishes they had more

The truth is - almost no one grows up talking about money and it is seldom we learn about it in school. Everyone looks at their bank accounts and wishes they had more. Everyone thinks about all the decisions they could have made - how they could have started saving and investing earlier. Everyone at some point looks at things to come, whether it's immediate bills or future goals, and wonders “how I will do this?”

Everyone at some point looks at things to come, whether it's immediate bills or future goals, and wonders “how I will do this?”

We live in a world where it's effortless to swipe our cards and pay for things. We have built a world that much like the video game, so long as we don't see the mountain of debt piling up, it isn't happening. So long as the card keeps swiping, I can carry on with my day. We do this with all areas of life; how many people only see the doctor when they are sick? Only go to the dentist when their tooth hurts? Only get their car checked when the light comes on? Like the video game, we've learned to navigate our world while desperately hoping to avoid setting off any of those side missions. Like the video game, if I don't go to the dentist, he can't tell me I have a cavity, and therefore, I don't have one now and don't have to think about it. But, maybe, just maybe if I flossed every day, I could avoid the pain of a cavity.

manage your money Better

If you're reading this, there is a good chance you hit a trigger and now you want to figure out what to do. Here is some advice: the chapter on Financial Planning in the book Time To Get Real! is a gift. I found it important, and I know that it will help you to better manage your money.

First, as the Japanese philosopher, Musashi once said, "It will be difficult at first, but all things are difficult at first." We forget how difficult it was to walk at first, but now we do so without thinking about it. We forget how much we struggled with basic math, and now we exchange currencies and schedule times to meet without thinking about it. We forget how difficult it was the first time you met someone you liked, and now you're living with someone and maybe having a family. All things take time. The more you do something, the more comfortable you will become doing it. This also applies to money management and financial planning.

Second, let's deal with that c-word, comfortability. Most people I know are not comfortable with their finances. There is enormous anxiety over even talking about money or checking their bank account. Being comfortable or uncomfortable are emotional responses, which may be difficult to manage. Here are few tips I have learned:

1. We can be hurt more by our expectations than the action themselves. This is true in multiple ways. Sometimes, we are hurt more by our expectations of people's actions than the actual actions themselves. At other times, we are hurt more by our expectation of checking our account and having $5,000 than the actual action of logging in and finding we only have $1,000.

2. We are not robots that can switch emotions on or off. Human beings experience an array of emotions. From a very young age, we are told we need to control our emotions, which often translated to when we got upset, we were supposed to flip a switch and stop behaving in a way that didn't align with what someone else thought was acceptable. The psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl once wrote, "between stimulus and response, there is space." It's okay to feel anxious, angry, or whatever emotion you are feeling about your financial situation. When that happens, you can identify how you are feeling and choose how to manage that feeling. If you feel anxious, decide to take a deep breath and move forward. There are thousands of free resources.

3. You are not alone. Everyone should have a system of support, whether that's family and friends or professionals. Whether you realize it or not, there are a lot of people in this world who want to help you. The professionals can come from your bank, your investment or insurance company, or from a financial planner.

You are not alone. Everyone should have a system of support, whether that's family and friends or professionals. Whether you realize it or not, there are a lot of people in this world who want to help you.

Third, be okay with where you are today. You have to start from someplace and here today is the someplace. We live in a world of overstimulation and oversharing. It is so easy to compare yourself to others and think less of yourself because of it. Remember, you don't know their whole story, and quite frankly, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about the things you could have done or should have done. Just focus on yourself, and wherever you are in the process, be okay with that. No matter where you are starting, it is better than never starting at all. But start you must.

Finally, we don't all start at the same place - and you need to accept that. The world is not a fair and equal place. Every one of us is on our own journey. No one can travel that path for you. You have to accept that. You have to own that. You can’t rewrite your past, but you can be the author of your future.

There are a ton of books out there about money, personal finance, investing, etc. It feels like most people don't take advantage of those or are in a place to learn from them because of one of the things I've listed above. We've built a society that entraps people into addictions. If you found this article because of trigger points, like a check bouncing, not having enough money to pay your bills, etc., be careful not to fall back into those habits that led you here. It seems like many people do well for some time, start to see progress, and then fall back into those old habits like spending too much, saving too little, or impulse shopping. Get to know your triggers and follow your plan.

There are a ton of books out there about money, personal finance, investing, etc.

I hope this article was beneficial to you. If you take nothing else from it, remember you are not alone. There are many people - like the life and career coaches at Life and Career Planning - who can help you develop and stick to a plan that is right for you. So, show your strength and ask for help if you need it.

Guest Blog by Jason Khurdan

Jason is the Manager of Central Services, Rutgers Access & Disability Resources, Rutgers University. His role is to work with individuals with disabilities to ensure equal access at Rutgers. He specializes in Assistive Technology (AT) and leads a team that works with individuals one-on-one to recommend and implement various resources. In addition to his work with individuals with disabilities in higher education, he has previously owned his own non-profit, which mentored children in Newark from K-12. Jason is also a Certified Life and Career Planning Coach.

In addition to the work he does at Rutgers, he builds websites and does small business consulting. He has sat on many strategic planning committees for large publishing companies and previously chaired the group across the Big Ten, which focused on course accessibility.

In his spare time, he practices a Japanese martial art called Aikido, which focuses on creating harmony. When not on the mat, Jason enjoys 3D design and 3D printing. 

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