A Model to Help You Make Better Decisions

We all make decisions. They may be easy or difficult. Some don’t require very much thought but others can impact our life, our career, or other individuals who are important to us. For those decisions that have great meaning for our life and our work, it’s important to do the best possible job that we can in reaching conclusions that will be to our benefit.

At Life and Career Planning, we developed a decision-making process based on research of numerous decision-making models. Below is a graphic depiction of the process. Its application is not for the easy or day-to-day decisions we all make. We suggest using it when a serious life or career problem or opportunity arises.

You will note that to make the best decision possible, your personal values, mission, and vision must be central to the decision-making process. Whether individuals recognize it or not, their personal values exist and are huge motivators in the way that they make decisions and live their lives. Some people know what their personal values are, but others don’t. Take some time to think about your personal values. Read our book Time To Get Real! if you need some help. Your values are going to drive your decision-making. In addition, knowing your mission or purpose in life and your vision, where you are headed and where you want to arrive, will color any decision that you make. Again, if you have never documented your mission or your personal vision, check it out in our book, Time to Get Real! When you start using the model below, remember that your values, mission, and vision overlay every part of the model and every decision you make.

Review the model and then review the case study we provide as an example.

Here is an example of how to use the Decision Making Process.

 Case Study:

1. Identify and Define Cedric is a very experienced and knowledgeable technology executive. He has worked for his company’s CEO for over a year. He is upset and frustrated because the CEO, who is experienced in technology but not as much as Cedric, continually pushes back on Cedric when Cedric is taking independent action. The CEO wants to control a broad array of decision-making as applied in the technology arena. He seems to do it because he likes the field, rather than because it is necessary to get the desired results. Cedric likes the company and his position in it except for the fact that he and the CEO clash more often than not over Cedric’s independent role and the decisions he is making.

2. Gather Information Cedric needs to spend time in self-assessment and reflection regarding his frustration with his boss’ micromanagement. He can also do some research about the technology job market to understand the viability of changing jobs.

3. Create Alternatives

• Cedric can just continue to put up with the boss’ behavior and make an effort to not let it bother him so much

• Cedric can speak with this boss and let him know that he is frustrated with the micromanagement and suggest a period of time that the boss lets Cedric make the technology decisions and see if the boss can become comfortable with that arrangement

• Cedric can go to the head of human resources (HR) and see if they can set up a meeting with the boss to discuss the micromanagement. Maybe HR can have some influence

• Cedric can look for a similar position in another organization

4. Evaluate Each Alternative

• Put up with the behavior: Cedric is feeling frustrated and undervalued and this is demotivating. This is tolerable in the short run but in the long run, Cedric can’t live with that level of stress and frustration. This is not a viable option for Cedric

• Speak with the boss: This risk here is that the boss may reject Cedric’s request to let him make the technology decisions and Cedric has now potentially angered the boss and his career situation is unresolved. On the other hand, the boss may be unaware of how this is impacting Cedric and may be willing to back off and let Cedric do his job. This seems like a viable alternative for Cedric

• Go to HR: While it might be helpful to have HR intervene with the boss, it also could anger the boss that Cedric didn’t address the issues directly with the boss. Cedric is a senior executive and should attempt to manage this himself first. This is not a first-choice alternative

• Look for a new job: There are many unknowns when changing jobs – Cedric might have to move, there is no guarantee that his relationship with a new boss would be a good one, and changing jobs may increase his commute. This alternative is most likely a last resort since Cedric should ask for what he wants where he is before going elsewhere

5. Decide on an Alternative

Cedric decides to have a conversation with his boss. He prepares for the conversation by discussing the issue in-depth with a trusted colleague in another organization and plans a strategy for the discussion.

6. Implement

Cedric makes a late afternoon appointment to meet with this boss. He has practiced how he will present the issue to his boss. Although he feels some anxiety, he calmly makes his presentation and suggests that the boss allow him to make all the technology decisions for 60 days, and then they will have a follow-up meeting to debrief and agree on how to proceed.

7. Review the Outcome

Cedric’s boss has been unaware of how his micromanaging has impacted Cedric. The boss agrees to Cedric’s 60-day proposal. Cedric will need to revisit step 7 of the Decision-Making Process after the 60-day period is over. If Cedric is happy with the outcome, he has accomplished his desired outcome. If the boss reverts to his micromanaging ways, Cedric will need to repeat the process using the learning from the first alternative he chose and choose a different alternative.

For those decisions that have great meaning for our life and our work, it’s important to do the best possible job that we can in reaching conclusions that will be to our benefit.

Making better decisions is certainly important in one’s life as well as career. Of course, there is no more important decision than to determine your life’s vision, where it is that you would like to arrive and be the happiest person you can be in both your life and career. If you can do that, you will place yourself way ahead of the competition.

In our book Time To Get Real!, we provide the reader with a market and time-tested guide to help them lead an intentional life. The guide is the Life and Career Planning Model© which helps you take control and directs you through a strategic planning process leading to actions that result in personal and professional success.

The Life and Career Planning Model© life and the Decision-Making Process described above are tools that can move you forward in a positive direction. The Life and Career Planning Model© has been used in our coaching of individuals across all age groups. It works!

Click here to buy the book. Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching processes and fees are both flexible to accommodate a broad spectrum of individuals. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

How to Have a Happy Family Holiday

The holiday season is a special time when family and friends come together to celebrate. This coming together can include hectic travel schedules, last-minute shopping, and family relationship stresses. You may be feeling some anxiety around a rocky relationship with a family member or two or you are simply stressed about hosting relatives over the holidays.

In an article in Psychology Today, Dr. Gail Gross lists some best practices to enjoy your family time this holiday season. Here are some tips that can help you have as positive an experience as possible when reuniting with family members.

“Have a plan that contains ground rules for holiday fun. If you are the host of a holiday gathering, you can communicate to all guests ahead of time that your home is a “safe zone,” a place for fun and family but not for resurrecting painful issues, squabbles, or historical injuries. Meet your guests at the door and remind them that once they cross the threshold all family problems must be left behind. As the song goes: “Grab your coat and grab your hat, leave your troubles on your doorstep.”

Delegate. No one host can do it all by him or herself. There’s an axiom of psychology that if you let others do things for you, they will like you more because they feel invested. Feel free to ask for help in the kitchen and let a cousin, aunt, or grandparent bring his or her favorite dish to dinner. This also gives them a chance to receive both attention and compliments for their contribution.

Take a time-out. Whether you are visiting a relative’s home for the holidays or you are entertaining, remember to take time out for yourself. If you are headed for someone’s home, leave time for yourself 30 minutes before engaging socially, by meditating, having a warm bath, drinking a hot cup of tea, or just closing your eyes for a few minutes. Feeling tired makes you more fragile. Tired and fragile people often make mistakes, get cranky, and become magnets for trouble. If you are the host, the same rules apply. Take time out for yourself before guests arrive, so that you can manage your stress and have the energy necessary for socializing.

Whether you are visiting a relative’s home for the holidays or you are entertaining, remember to take time out for yourself.

Be tolerant. Give your relatives the benefit of the doubt. Remember, when families come together, they often have unrealistic goals for one another and may try to recreate childhood fantasies. This can prompt regressive and childish behavior. So step back, breathe in, and give others the benefit of the doubt.

In the end, it is your time together that counts. Go easy on yourself—and on your guests—and enjoy your family time this holiday season.”

Go easy on yourself—and on your guests—and enjoy your family time this holiday season.

Those of us who are lucky enough to celebrate holidays with family and friends are extremely fortunate. Our mindset is important. It is certainly a time to be thankful and appreciative of all our relationships. It’s a known fact that relationships of varying kinds help us and make for healthy human beings. We hope that you enjoy the warmth of these relationships during this holiday season. If you would like to know more about cultivating various types and kinds of relationships as the new year approaches, we strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect on your personal and professional relationships. Reading chapter 4, Relationships, in our book, Time To Get Real!, will help you with this.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

What is Your Life Purpose?

When teaching or coaching individuals on life and career planning, we ask that they write a statement that describes their life’s purpose or mission. For most people, this is not an easy exercise. It requires thinking about all the dimensions of your life, your relationships, your work, your personal motivations, and in some sense your spiritual or humanistic beliefs. A personal mission statement offers clarity and gives you a sense of purpose. It helps define who you are and how you will live. Frankly, it’s much easier to write a description of a job you want than to answer the question – why am I here?

A number of years ago Alex Plinio, author of Time To Get Real! had the opportunity to work with Frances Hesselbein, the CEO of the Girl Scouts of America, who had been named as the best executive leader in the United States in business, nonprofit, or government fields. She talked about the need that people have for a hope beyond the change experienced in their daily lives. She said that the need was for an anchor, a purpose, which provided meaning for their life and their work. We believe everyone needs this, but few people take the time to think about it and to provide that meaning for themselves.

A personal mission statement offers clarity and gives you a sense of purpose. It helps define who you are and how you will live.

The importance of an expressed life purpose is explored in an article by John Coleman in the Harvard Business Review, “I’ve spent the last decade writing on leadership and personal development, particularly the topic of purpose, and one of the key insights from that work is the hollow nature of material success when it is absent of meaning. Success without significance — which I define as purpose, service, and meaningful relationships — is not really success at all. And waiting until you’re in the latter half of your life to achieve true success is a waste.

Few of us have thoughtfully considered the mainstream conception of success before we have pursued it. We may be thoughtful about selecting a job or career by thinking about what we’re good at or the paths of those we admire, but over time, that job may dominate other meaningful parts of our lives (we all can relate to the struggles of work/life balance) or we may lose sight of what makes that career purposeful in the first place. Our default, then, is often to chase material progress without truly asking why.

Instead, it’s important to properly reflect on how you can live a life imbued intensely not just with the superficial trappings of “success” but with deep purpose and joy in all we do. As psychologist Martin Seligman has framed it, true flourishing involves some element of accomplishment, certainly, but also involves meaning, positive emotions, engagement, and relationships. Reflecting on this more profound definition of success challenges us to adopt a fundamentally different path than the one championed in popular culture. And doing it early — and often — allows us to craft a life that is more consistently filled with meaning.”

How To Develop a Purpose Statement of Your Own

Our book Time To Get Real! examines those key aspects of your life and career, which enable you to understand your life’s mission or purpose. Chapter 5 in our book will take you step by step through developing your own purpose statement. You are asked to answer a number of questions such as – To what am I committed and what do I consider as non-negotiable in my life? What are the experiences, feelings, people, and values that are important to me?

Purpose statements can be quite powerful in motivating a person toward their specific life’s vision. The statement can help with decision-making in all aspects of one’s life. As Francis Hasselbein has observed, a well-thought-out statement provides an anchor in life’s sea of change.

Align Your Life and Career Plan With Your Purpose

We strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect and develop your own purpose statement. Aligning all the parts of your life and career plan with your purpose is like fitting the pieces of a puzzle together. It provides the opportunity to make your life better and helps you feel good about your place in the world. Let your purpose strengthen your resolve, help you to make decisions, and bring you a level of comfort.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about developing your own purpose statement, we recommend reading chapter 5 of our book Time To Get Real! Discovering your purpose is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Is My Career Headed in the Right Direction?

The chapter entitled “Current and Future Position” in our book Time To Get Real! encourages you to reflect on where you currently are in your career and where you are headed. Does the current position you hold reflect your needs? For example, does it enhance your personal strengths and provide development? Does it resonate with your values and is the position fulfilling and in line with your life purpose? Do you feel that you have control over your career and your life?

Over time, you may discover that your personal and professional goals may have shifted, and your career aspirations take on a different path or priority.

A recent article in the Washington Post by Michael Errigo, notes that a trend in recent years is that professional growth is no longer defined mostly by the idea of getting ahead, earning a better title, or upping a salary. Instead, individuals are seeking out more abstract prizes like autonomy, passion, and a sense of purpose.

Pay is important but, for most people, not the most important aspect of their job.

Errigo writes, “In a recent Washington Post-Ipsos poll, 45 percent of American workers ranked pay as the most important factor in their job — while the rest chose other factors, such as having a good boss, being able to work from home, health and retirement benefits, or whether their work helps society.” In other words, pay is important but, for most people, not the most important aspect of their job.

What People Are Looking for in Their Job

“Professional growth and financial growth aren’t often the same thing,” said David J. Smith, a D.C.-area career coach. “A lot of people … want to feel like their work has meaning and purpose.”

Smith noted that while money is obviously of great importance to people and that financial issues play a key role in his clients’ career decisions (particularly as they relate to the cost of living in the Washington metro area), it is far from the only driver. “They want the money to be able to live in Washington, sure, but they come to me and say what they want is to go to bed at night feeling like they’ve made a difference,” Smith said. “That’s professional growth for a lot of people.”

The issues that trouble workers to begin with are often tied to some kind of physical or emotional burnout. “One of the things I hear most often in my contact form is people saying they are totally emotionally drained by the time they are done working,” said D.C.-area career coach Chrissy Macken. “Other aspects of their life are suffering because after work they are just a grumbly, tired person.”

create a more compatible situation

Each reader of Time To Get Real! will have his or her own needs and potential set of actions. The important thing is not to bury the concerns that you identify, but instead to highlight them, seek advice and assistance where needed, act on those concerns, and attempt to create a more compatible situation for the attainment of your life and career goals. By doing this work, you should be on a path to maximize your current position or move toward your next future position.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about assessing your current position and planning for the right future position, we recommend reading chapter ten of our book Time To Get Real! Getting on a fulfilling career path is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Integrating Your Personal Values Into Your Everyday Life

Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your personal values and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.

Personal values are those basic principles, ways of behavior, or basic belief tenets you would find exceptionally difficult to live without. There are many personal values including achievement, adventure, compassion, creativity, trustworthiness, determination, friendships, happiness, success, and wisdom.

Knowing Your Personal Values

What are your personal values? And where do they come from? First, there are many contributors to your values. Your family and the significant people in your life, both relatives and friends, make a contribution. Your religious beliefs, education, and life experiences all help you to discern how your values develop and just what they are. Why is this important? It’s important because when you plan to create a holistic, strategic approach to your life and career, your values will be the motor to drive you forward and to help you make the decisions about the kind of work you’ll do, the kind of position you’ll accept, the kind of company or organization you’ll join or move away from, and the kind of person you choose to be.

Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your personal values and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.

We encourage you to take a look at your personal values. In our book, Time To Get Real! there is a brief exercise to help you to discern your personal values. To guide you, we refer you to a list of values, but remember that there may be a personal value you hold that is not on the list. Also, you might start out with a fairly long list of values you hold to be important, but we would encourage you not to have more than five to eight key values at the end of the exercise. As a matter of fact, you might find that some values are contained within others. For example, if you have a personal value of helping others, this might be listed as service to others or philanthropic/charitable work. Or if you have a personal value of education the value of learning could be a part of that. In any case, try to get down to the values that really matter to you.

Your Behavior Reveals Your Values

You should be able, when your list of values is completed, to see just how the values you say you hold dear are apparent in your life. Once you have identified your most important values, it is important to then engage in behaviors that move you toward those values. This means committing to things you can do that are in line with them. Identify an action or behavior that will bring your life more in line with a particular value. For example, if a value of yours is “trustworthiness” notice if you are regularly engaging in trustworthy behavior. You can also ask a close friend or family member if they perceive your behavior as trustworthy.

In an article in Inc., author Kevin Daum, gives these suggestions for integrating your personal (also called core) values and helping them take root into your everyday life.

“1. Put them where you can see them

My core values are all a single word so they are easy to apply in multiple places. But even if they are four-to-seven-word phrases you can still put them on Post-it notes, your screen saver, home screen, and anywhere else that is in your line of sight. The important thing is to keep them top of mind when you don't have the time to dig into your brain.

2. Discuss them with close family and friends

Your core values take on life when you have deep discussions about them. Share them with your significant other and your best friend. Get in the habit of using them to describe your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. My core value of Truth is an important topic when dealing with the critical people in my life. The more intimate the discussion, the more the values will comfortably settle into your soul.

Your core values take on life when you have deep discussions about them. Share them with your significant other and your best friend.

3. Put the right people in your life (and eliminate the wrong ones)

The most impactful way to use core values is to manage the company you keep. Other people don't have to share your core values, but they do need to fit them. One of my core values is Creativity. I don't require all people in my life to be creative per se, but I do require them to be supportive of a creative approach. Otherwise, I know we will have useless conflict. Time is a limited commodity that other people consume. Use your core values to make sure your time is being spent with people worthy of your values.

4. Assess your daily tasks each morning

Core values are great filters that help you make good decisions. When I list out my daily tasks, I use my values to evaluate whether or not they are the right things for me to be doing. For example, I determine each day if each task meets my core value of Impact. I want to know that everything I do will achieve maximum results for minimum effort. Make sure everything you do is consistent with who you are and you'll find your day running efficiently and effectively.

5. Integrate them into your regular conversations

Core values take on a whole new life when they become an integrated part of your dialogue. Even casual conversation spurs opportunity to express yourself through value-speak. Since Consistency is one of my values, I often use that word to explain why I must stay true to my own writings even when it feels unnatural. Make your values a key part of your normal vocabulary and you won't have to remind yourself which one you are constantly forgetting.

6. Apply them as key motivators

Your personal core values are the basis for determining your preferred future. Every opportunity and goal should be looked at through the lens of your core values or you will create unnecessary self-conflict and struggle on your journey. Take a day or two each quarter to do strategic planning and really think about how your life objectives and core values fit together. As long as they are in sync, your mind and soul can work together to accomplish great things.”

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about discovering and living your values, we recommend reading chapter three of our book Time To Get Real! Knowing and living your values is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Is Your Company Culture Right for You?

The benefits are clear, a strong corporate culture increases productivity, stimulates higher levels of innovation, reduces turnover rates, enhances employee engagement, and increases communication levels between management and employees. But what if you realize that your company culture isn’t a fit for you?

In our book, Time To Get Real!, we ask you to consider the company you work for and any organizations for which you volunteer. It doesn’t matter if you are working for compensation or freely giving of your time and effort in a volunteer activity, work is work. Whether it is a business, government, or nonprofit organization, a mission or purpose, values, and culture will exist within that organization. Aligning yourself with your organization, whether receiving compensation or not, is important for your own personal comfort and commitment.

Look at the mission of the organization for whom you work or volunteer. Does the organization's mission help to maximize your strengths while providing development opportunities? Does the mission conflict in any way with your own purpose or is it complimentary? Research has shown that when people match their personal values to the values of the company, employees are happier and more engaged. In addition, mission and values alignment is a quality that is common to high-performance organizations.

Research has shown that when people match their personal values to the values of the company, employees are happier and more engaged.

Corporate values represent the guiding principles of the organization’s culture. These values shape the culture of the company, which is represented by consistent, observable patterns of behavior in organizations. It is “the story” that is embedded in the people of the organization and that story is reinforced by the values and rituals seen every day.

For example, some organizations might focus on teamwork as a value. But, if staff members are highly competitive, don’t share information, or support one another on team projects, it’s easy to discern lip service is being given to this value. In other organizations, a value might be the development of human resources. That organization might have a substantial number of training programs, provide rotational assignments, and have a tuition reimbursement policy. The values and company behavior alignment are more easily seen here.

What Do You Do If Your Values Don’t Align?

Think about this for your own situation and organization. Just as there is no perfect life, there is no perfect job. We are quite fortunate when we can get 80% of what we want in our workplace, and this, in turn, gives us the strength to handle the other 20%. If in your case you have a good match with your company on mission, values, and culture, see if you can get what you want where you are by tweaking one or two things to make it more comfortable for you.

However, if you are in a state of conflict and you are uncomfortable in your workplace, then have the courage to make the move you need to make to achieve your life and career goals.

Knowing now what you know about the importance of the right corporate culture, how can you make sure you make the correct decision? When interviewing for a new role, here are some questions you can ask, according to this article on The Muse website, to help you assess the culture of the corporation.

“Five questions you can ask to get a better sense of company values and employee engagement:

1. What makes you proud to work at this company?

2. How does the organization support your professional development and career growth?

3. Is risk-taking encouraged, and what happens when people fail?

4. What role do company values play in hiring and performance reviews?

5. What’s one thing you would change about the company if you could?

Five questions you can ask to gain a clearer understanding of conflict and politics at a given company:

1. What causes conflict, and how is conflict resolved?

2. How would you describe “organizational politics” at the company?

3. How are decisions made when there’s disagreement and stakes are high?

4. When and how do people like to give and receive feedback?

5. Titles aside, who in the organization has the power to get things done?

Five questions you can ask to gain more insight into the work environment:

1. What are some of the ways the company celebrates success?

2. How do you as a manager—or, if more appropriate, how does your manager—support and motivate your team?

3. What kind of flexible work arrangements do people have?

4. Do you have a matching gifts program or sponsor local volunteer events?

5. If you have a specific need, ask about it. For example, “I take my kids to school on Wednesdays, is it OK if I come in late once a week?” (Note: Save a question like this for a final interview. If it’s the very first question you ask—before questions like these—it could count against you.)

While the only way to know what a company is really like is to experience it firsthand, investing time upfront and learning as much as you can will help minimize surprises.”

Click here to buy the book. Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.

If you would like more information about Organization Mission, Values, and Culture, we recommend reading chapter eight of our book Time To Get Real! Having an intentional approach to matching your personal values with the values of your organization is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some personal coaching that can help you discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

An Intentional Approach to Life Balance

Your life is spent in the minutes, hours, and days that are yours. How do you spend that time, and where do you spend that time? Does the way you spend your life seem to mirror your interests, those things that bring you joy, your personal values, and personal relationships? If not, why not?

Life balance means something different to every individual and it is important that you determine what balance appropriately supports your life’s purpose, values, and goals. Healthy individuals have multiple sources of satisfaction. Are you regularly engaging in a variety of activities that bring you satisfaction? This is an opportunity to evaluate what is important to spend time on and what activities you need to diminish in your life.

Healthy individuals have multiple sources of satisfaction. Are you regularly engaging in a variety of activities that bring you satisfaction?

Having a balanced life doesn’t happen by accident. It requires an intentional approach toward one’s life, aimed at achieving a comfort level that an individual desires in all areas that matter to them. It’s next to impossible to move immediately from being a workaholic to having a well-balanced life. Moving in a positive direction is a step-by-step process. It requires personal commitment.

According to an article written by Aditi Shrikant on the website CNBC, one way to give a new habit more staying power is by using a five-stage model of change developed by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente.

the five-step model of change

The article goes on to describe the five-step model of change:

“1. Precontemplation - At this point, you don't know you want to make a change and don't see yourself doing so in the foreseeable future. You're unaware of how your actions are impacting your life and are more concentrated on "collecting experiences." If you're already looking to make a change, you might have already passed the stage.

2. Contemplation - Here, you start having repeating thoughts about your experiences and what's working for you and what isn't. You might be noticing pros and cons about specific habits. You aren't really feeling the call to action, yet.

3. Preparation - By this stage, you've decided you want to change and you're gathering material and information to help you facilitate that change. For example, if you want to start running, you might go out and get fitted for running shoes. You could call up a friend who has run consistently for a few years and ask how they got started.

4. Action - This marks the beginning of behavioral changes and is probably the stage you associate with change because it's the most visible. "If you've made it all the way to this stage, it takes a whole hell of a lot of mental energy, time, reflection, work, and emotional risk,” writes Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control. "No matter what happens next, you have much to be proud of."

5. Maintenance - This stage is crucial and often overlooked. Making the change is only the beginning of the journey. Now you have to sustain the habit. Know that you will regress. You might run three times a week for a month then totally lose motivation for the next month. Remind yourself that regression is not failure and surround yourself with a support system who encourages you to keep going when you slip up.”

Finding Life Balance

At Life and Career Planning LLC, we know that what may appear to be the most intractable challenges to having a more balanced life can be met head-on and overcome. We have seen this in the people we coach and advise. The solution always appears to be that the challenge has to be named and accepted, and then one has to have the courage to take those first steps leading to incremental, positive change.

The solution always appears to be that the challenge has to be named and accepted, and then one has to have the courage to take those first steps leading to incremental, positive change.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about Life Balance, we recommend reading chapter six of our book Time To Get Real! Having an intentional approach to life balance is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some personal coaching that can help you discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

What Makes Us Happy in Life?

In 1938, researchers from Harvard began a decades-long study to find out what makes us happy in life. The researchers gathered health records from 724 participants from all over the globe and, at two-year intervals, asked questions about their lives.

You might think it's career achievement, money, exercise, or a healthy diet that makes us happy. Instead, according to a CNBC article written by Marc Schultz and Robert Waldinger, the most consistent finding learned through 85 years of study is: “Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period.”

Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period.

The article states, “Relationships affect us physically. Ever notice the invigoration you feel when you believe someone has really understood you during a good conversation? Or a lack of sleep during a period of romantic strife? To make sure your relationships are healthy and balanced, it's important to practice "social fitness." We tend to think that once we establish friendships and intimate relationships, they will take care of themselves. But our social life is a living system, and it needs exercise.”

Seven keystones of support

We are social creatures and are not able to provide everything we need for ourselves. We need others to interact with and to help us. The authors site seven keystones of support:

·     Safety and security: Who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Who would you turn to in a moment of crisis?

·     Learning and growth: Who encourages you to try new things, to take chances, to pursue your life's goals?

·     Emotional closeness and confiding: Who knows everything (or most things) about you? Who can you call on when you're feeling low and be honest with about how you're feeling?

·     Identity affirmation and shared experience: Is there someone in your life who has shared many experiences with you and who helps you strengthen your sense of who you are?

·     Romantic intimacy: Do you feel satisfied with the amount of romantic intimacy in your life?

·     Help (both informational and practical): Who do you turn to if you need some expertise or help solving a practical problem (e.g., planting a tree, fixing your WiFi connection).

·      Fun and relaxation: Who makes you laugh? Who do you call to see a movie or go on a road trip with who makes you feel connected and at ease?

Why you need different types of relationships

As you read through this list, remember that not all, or even most, of your relationships offer you all of these types of support. That is why you need different types of relationships including key relationships and positive relationships.

In our book, Time To Get Real! the chapter entitled Relationships focuses on the key relationships in your life, their importance, and how they can help you to gain unvarnished feedback on your decisions and plans. The chapter also includes advice about relationships in general that can either help or hinder you in building a fulfilling life.

Key relationships occur with those people with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and plans about life and career. These are people you trust and whose advice and counsel you would want to seek. They are willing to tell you what you need to hear even if you do not want to hear it.

Key relationships require the capacity to build trust. Trust in a relationship creates a feeling of safety. Safety allows for personal sharing. The sharer understands that he or she can trust the relationship and therefore can be open and transparent in a dialogue. The receiver in the relationship understands that trust is the basis for the relationship and therefore knows that the sharer is vulnerable, and he or she would never do anything to break confidence or to hurt the person who is sharing. Such a relationship should propel you, the sharer, toward your best life.

Key relationships occur with those people with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and plans about life and career.

Everyone also needs some positive relationships in their life. These are not key relationships as described above. Instead, they are relationships that are able to bring some lightness and color into your life. They are the family members who you always look forward to seeing. They are the friends you love to travel with. They are the men and women who share your interests. They are the kind of people who have values that align with yours. They are your advisors and supporters at work. They are your friendly neighbors.

Our relationships are important and individuals with robust relationships maximize their chances for happiness. It’s not easy to be a workaholic if you know you have to play tennis twice a week with Laura. It’s harder to be alone watching television for hours when Paul expects you to have lunch with him at least once a week. A cure for feeling old occurs when you get out to watch your grandchildren play soccer, baseball, or football. Relationships push you outside of yourself. They require solid interaction between human beings. Relationships also vary in their intensity. The key is to have enough of them to bring variety and interest into your life.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about Relationships, we recommend reading chapter four of our book Time To Get Real!. Having fulfilling relationships is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some personal coaching that can help you discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

How to Love Your Job

With the holiday season behind us, many of us find ourselves thinking more critically about the year ahead and the level of satisfaction we have in our job. The chapter Current and Future Position in our book Time To Get Real! encourages you to reflect on where you currently are in your career and where you are headed.

Some questions asked in this chapter include: does the current position you hold reflect what you need for your personal strengths and development areas, your values, and your life purpose? If you are unhappy in your current role, think about what would your days look like if you had control over them. Before leaving the position, have you asked for what you want and can you find additional fulfillment where you are?

A recent article in Forbes written by Tracy Bower explores this concept as well. “In the current talent revolution, there’s renewed focus on jobs, employers, and career advancement—and perhaps most of all—whether you’re happy and loving what you do. It’s worth giving intentional thought to whether you love your work and whether it’s fulfilling. It is, after all, a majority of where you spend your time.

It’s worth giving intentional thought to whether you love your work and whether it’s fulfilling.

There are proven ways to fall in love with your job, or even just like it a little more. But it’s also important to know there is no perfect job. There will always be things you love as well as things you dislike. The best formula for loving your work is to find as much alignment as you can between what you love to do, and what you must spend time on.”

Finding Alignment

The article lists several ways to find more happiness in your current role.

“Love Your Contribution - No matter what you’re doing, your work is a way you express your talents and make a contribution to your community. Performing well is correlated with happiness, so embrace your own skills and be confident about what you do well.

Love The Learning - Appreciate all you’re learning to stay on top of your current role, and always be looking for the next growth opportunity as well.

Love Your Coworkers - One of the most important elements of happiness is feeling connected with others Whether you’re an introvert or an extravert, you need the right number of meaningful relationships as well as casual interactions. Work is a key venue to make friends and to connect with others on common goals or tasks. Even if your job isn’t a perfect fit and you don’t thrive with your organization, you can appreciate your relationships with others.

Work is a key venue to make friends and to connect with others on common goals or tasks.

Love What Work Buys - You may not feel a deep sense of meaning from your work and that’s okay. Your work doesn’t have to be a grand endeavor, and it’s a mistake to believe good work only comes when you feel a significant purpose. Having purpose is powerful, for sure, and you can always be looking for a job where you have it. But in the meantime, you can appreciate your work for what it buys you—putting food on the table, paying for your home or covering the costs of a great vacation. It’s fair to love your work for the ordinary ways it provides for your needs.”

More Action Steps

Each reader of Time To Get Real! will have his or her own needs and set of actions. The important thing is not to bury the concerns that you identify, but instead to highlight them, seek advice and assistance where needed, act on those concerns, and attempt to create a more compatible situation for the attainment of your life and career goals. By doing this work, you should be on a path to maximize your current position or move toward your future position.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about your Current and Future Position, we recommend reading chapter ten in our book Time To Get Real!. Having a fulfilling career is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Try a New Holiday Treat – “Joy” Snacks

The holiday season is a special time when family and friends come together to celebrate. This coming together can include hectic travel schedules, last-minute shopping, and family relationship stresses. But what can you do to make this important time of the year as joyful as possible?

According to an article written by Richard Sima in The Washington Post, “Here’s an antidote to an ever-stressful, busy and uncertain world. Try finding and savoring little bites of joy in your day. I call them “joy” snacks.”

Try finding and savoring little bites of joy in your day.

According to the article, new research shows that finding and savoring these nuggets of joy can be a way of consistently cultivating a happy, fulfilling life. It’s paying attention to the goodness that is already present in your life.

“By mindfully tuning into the pleasant, nice, and sometimes routine experiences of every day, we can transform an otherwise mundane moment into something more meaningful and even joyful.”

Finding “Joy” Snacks

These “joy” snacks can be simple events like lunch with a co-worker, enjoying a walk with your dog, or reconnecting with an old friend. It’s small day-to-day experiences that bring meaning. You just need to be on the lookout for them. Next time you are watching a favorite television show with your friends or family, savoring a good book, enjoying a scene from nature, or hanging out with friends, take a moment to recognize the joy this event brings and how it is contributing to the quality of your life.

Next time you are hanging out with friends take a moment to recognize the joy this event brings and how it is contributing to the quality of your life.

As the new year approaches, we strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect on what brings you joy and then actively seek to engage more with those sources in 2023. Reading chapter 2 in our book, Time To Get Real!, will help you with this.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Is Life Balance Really Possible?

Your life is spent in the minutes, hours, and days that are yours. How do you spend that time, and where do you spend that time? Does the way you spend your life seem to mirror your interests, joy, values, and relationships? If not, why not?

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal by Allison Pohle, “The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development’s 2020 Better Life Index found that the U.S. ranks 30th out of 40 countries in terms of time devoted to leisure and personal care. With fewer Americans commuting to workplaces during the coronavirus pandemic, many are using that time to work even more, leading some to feel burned out. In a September survey of 310 organizations by the Conference Board, 46% of respondents said their work-life balance had decreased.”

An Intentional Approach to life balance

Life balance means something different to every individual and it is important that you determine what balance appropriately supports your mission, values, and goals. Healthy individuals have multiple sources of satisfaction. Are you regularly engaging in a variety of activities that bring you satisfaction? This is an opportunity to evaluate what is important to spend time on and what activities you need to diminish in your life.

Having a balanced life doesn’t happen by accident. It requires an intentional approach toward one’s life, aimed at achieving a comfort level that an individual desires in all areas that matter to them. It’s next to impossible to move immediately from being a workaholic to having a well-balanced life. Moving in a positive direction is a step-by-step process. It requires personal commitment.

Having a balanced life doesn’t happen by accident. It requires an intentional approach toward one’s life, aimed at achieving a comfort level that an individual desires in all areas that matter to them.

For example, Ken explained that his job required 12 -14-hour days to get the work done. Over time, he committed to a work reduction of one hour at a time until he reached the point where he, his employer, and his co-workers understood how much he was willing to invest in his job and what he needed outside of work to be a happy and healthy individual.

Integrating Life Balance

Life balance needs to be seen holistically and integrated with all aspects of your life and not as a pure balancing of your time, effort, and attention. You’ll need to think about those areas of your life where time spent must be reduced or eliminated and those areas where it must be increased. You’ll have to think about to whom you will need to talk--your boss, your spouse or your significant other, a friend--and you will need to think about taking action steps that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-sensitive toward the vision you want.

Life balance needs to be seen holistically and integrated with all aspects of your life and not as a pure balancing of your time, effort, and attention. You’ll need to think about those areas of your life where time spent must be reduced or eliminated and those areas where it must be increased.

We know that what may appear to be the most intractable challenges to having a more balanced life can be met head-on and overcome. We have seen this in the people we coach and advise. The solution always appears to be that the challenge has to be named and accepted, and then one has to have the courage to take those first steps leading to incremental, positive change.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

If you would like more information about living a balanced life, we recommend reading chapter six in our book Time To Get Real!. Having an appropriate life balance is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Create an Action Plan for Personal and Professional Success

We are pleased to announce that Alex Plinio and Melissa Smith are presenting Self-Empowerment: Leading an Intentional Life on Monday, May 23 from 10:00 am to 11:00 am. This interactive Zoom session, focusing on how to create an action plan for personal and professional success, is offered by the North Central Jersey Association of Realtors and is available to any interested individuals whether or not they are members of the organization.

Click here to register

The presentation centers on a market and time-test guide to leading an intentional life. It helps individuals to take control directing them through a process leading to actions that result in personal and professional success.

Alex J. Plinio, President, Life and Career Planning LLC

· Manage unforeseen challenges with resilience, confidence, and self-direction

· Make decisions and choices that create opportunities for you

· Integrate your life and career and build the future that you desire

· Control more of your life through readiness and preparation

Their message to you is clear. You can be more in control of your future and can achieve success and happiness, but you need to think and act like the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of your own life. This is the essence of their process. Be that CEO.

Melissa Smith, Managing Director, Life and Career Planning LLC

Don’t let the current environment stop you from being intentional about what you want to do with your life and career. Doing nothing is a response that you don’t want to have since it always places you in a reactive position. Now is the time to think through options and your future. Don’t wait - get ahead of the curve.

Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon. Click here to buy the book.

During this Zoom seminar, Alex and Melissa will take you through the basics of the Life and Career Planning Model© that is described in their book, Time To Get Real! They will provide options to you so that you can develop your personal life and career plan and be intentional about creating your own future.

Click here to register - Seminar cost is $39.

To learn more about the entire Self-Empowerment Principle Training Program series created by the North Central Jersey Association of Realtors® (NCJAR) to enhance personal and professional development, click here.