Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your personal values and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.
Personal values are those basic principles, ways of behavior, or basic belief tenets you would find exceptionally difficult to live without. There are many personal values including achievement, adventure, compassion, creativity, trustworthiness, determination, friendships, happiness, success, and wisdom.
Knowing Your Personal Values
What are your personal values? And where do they come from? First, there are many contributors to your values. Your family and the significant people in your life, both relatives and friends, make a contribution. Your religious beliefs, education, and life experiences all help you to discern how your values develop and just what they are. Why is this important? It’s important because when you plan to create a holistic, strategic approach to your life and career, your values will be the motor to drive you forward and to help you make the decisions about the kind of work you’ll do, the kind of position you’ll accept, the kind of company or organization you’ll join or move away from, and the kind of person you choose to be.
We encourage you to take a look at your personal values. In our book, Time To Get Real! there is a brief exercise to help you to discern your personal values. To guide you, we refer you to a list of values, but remember that there may be a personal value you hold that is not on the list. Also, you might start out with a fairly long list of values you hold to be important, but we would encourage you not to have more than five to eight key values at the end of the exercise. As a matter of fact, you might find that some values are contained within others. For example, if you have a personal value of helping others, this might be listed as service to others or philanthropic/charitable work. Or if you have a personal value of education the value of learning could be a part of that. In any case, try to get down to the values that really matter to you.
Your Behavior Reveals Your Values
You should be able, when your list of values is completed, to see just how the values you say you hold dear are apparent in your life. Once you have identified your most important values, it is important to then engage in behaviors that move you toward those values. This means committing to things you can do that are in line with them. Identify an action or behavior that will bring your life more in line with a particular value. For example, if a value of yours is “trustworthiness” notice if you are regularly engaging in trustworthy behavior. You can also ask a close friend or family member if they perceive your behavior as trustworthy.
In an article in Inc., author Kevin Daum, gives these suggestions for integrating your personal (also called core) values and helping them take root into your everyday life.
“1. Put them where you can see them
My core values are all a single word so they are easy to apply in multiple places. But even if they are four-to-seven-word phrases you can still put them on Post-it notes, your screen saver, home screen, and anywhere else that is in your line of sight. The important thing is to keep them top of mind when you don't have the time to dig into your brain.
2. Discuss them with close family and friends
Your core values take on life when you have deep discussions about them. Share them with your significant other and your best friend. Get in the habit of using them to describe your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. My core value of Truth is an important topic when dealing with the critical people in my life. The more intimate the discussion, the more the values will comfortably settle into your soul.
3. Put the right people in your life (and eliminate the wrong ones)
The most impactful way to use core values is to manage the company you keep. Other people don't have to share your core values, but they do need to fit them. One of my core values is Creativity. I don't require all people in my life to be creative per se, but I do require them to be supportive of a creative approach. Otherwise, I know we will have useless conflict. Time is a limited commodity that other people consume. Use your core values to make sure your time is being spent with people worthy of your values.
4. Assess your daily tasks each morning
Core values are great filters that help you make good decisions. When I list out my daily tasks, I use my values to evaluate whether or not they are the right things for me to be doing. For example, I determine each day if each task meets my core value of Impact. I want to know that everything I do will achieve maximum results for minimum effort. Make sure everything you do is consistent with who you are and you'll find your day running efficiently and effectively.
5. Integrate them into your regular conversations
Core values take on a whole new life when they become an integrated part of your dialogue. Even casual conversation spurs opportunity to express yourself through value-speak. Since Consistency is one of my values, I often use that word to explain why I must stay true to my own writings even when it feels unnatural. Make your values a key part of your normal vocabulary and you won't have to remind yourself which one you are constantly forgetting.
6. Apply them as key motivators
Your personal core values are the basis for determining your preferred future. Every opportunity and goal should be looked at through the lens of your core values or you will create unnecessary self-conflict and struggle on your journey. Take a day or two each quarter to do strategic planning and really think about how your life objectives and core values fit together. As long as they are in sync, your mind and soul can work together to accomplish great things.”
If you would like more information about discovering and living your values, we recommend reading chapter three of our book Time To Get Real! Knowing and living your values is one component of the Life and Career Planning Model© featured in the book. This model is the framework for developing your own life and career plan. Should you choose to create your own plan, we suggest that you consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. Our coaching fees and services are flexible and meet a broad array of client financial and coaching needs. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.