The holiday season is a special time when family and friends come together to celebrate. This coming together can include hectic travel schedules, last-minute shopping, and family relationship stresses. You may be feeling some anxiety around a rocky relationship with a family member or two or you are simply stressed about hosting relatives over the holidays.

In an article in Psychology Today, Dr. Gail Gross lists some best practices to enjoy your family time this holiday season. Here are some tips that can help you have as positive an experience as possible when reuniting with family members.

“Have a plan that contains ground rules for holiday fun. If you are the host of a holiday gathering, you can communicate to all guests ahead of time that your home is a “safe zone,” a place for fun and family but not for resurrecting painful issues, squabbles, or historical injuries. Meet your guests at the door and remind them that once they cross the threshold all family problems must be left behind. As the song goes: “Grab your coat and grab your hat, leave your troubles on your doorstep.”

Delegate. No one host can do it all by him or herself. There’s an axiom of psychology that if you let others do things for you, they will like you more because they feel invested. Feel free to ask for help in the kitchen and let a cousin, aunt, or grandparent bring his or her favorite dish to dinner. This also gives them a chance to receive both attention and compliments for their contribution.

Take a time-out. Whether you are visiting a relative’s home for the holidays or you are entertaining, remember to take time out for yourself. If you are headed for someone’s home, leave time for yourself 30 minutes before engaging socially, by meditating, having a warm bath, drinking a hot cup of tea, or just closing your eyes for a few minutes. Feeling tired makes you more fragile. Tired and fragile people often make mistakes, get cranky, and become magnets for trouble. If you are the host, the same rules apply. Take time out for yourself before guests arrive, so that you can manage your stress and have the energy necessary for socializing.

Be tolerant. Give your relatives the benefit of the doubt. Remember, when families come together, they often have unrealistic goals for one another and may try to recreate childhood fantasies. This can prompt regressive and childish behavior. So step back, breathe in, and give others the benefit of the doubt.

In the end, it is your time together that counts. Go easy on yourself—and on your guests—and enjoy your family time this holiday season.”

Those of us who are lucky enough to celebrate holidays with family and friends are extremely fortunate. Our mindset is important. It is certainly a time to be thankful and appreciative of all our relationships. It’s a known fact that relationships of varying kinds help us and make for healthy human beings. We hope that you enjoy the warmth of these relationships during this holiday season. If you would like to know more about cultivating various types and kinds of relationships as the new year approaches, we strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect on your personal and professional relationships. Reading chapter 4, Relationships, in our book, Time To Get Real!, will help you with this.

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