The Benefits of Gratitude

During this Thanksgiving season, many of us turn our thoughts to the things for which we are grateful. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what we have received, both tangible and intangible. With gratitude, we acknowledge the goodness in our lives.

According to an article in Harvard Health Publishing, “People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). Regardless of the inherent or current level of someone's gratitude, it's a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.”

Expressing gratitude leads to greater happiness

The article explains that expressing gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater feelings of happiness and joy. In our book Time To Get Real! we agree with the importance of focusing on joy. In chapter 2 entitled Joy, we ask you to look back on your life and consider what achievements and accomplishments gave you the most joy. What was the sense of accomplishment or joy you received from them? What are the discernable themes? And what is the importance of focusing on joy or happiness?

Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what we have received, both tangible and intangible. With gratitude, we acknowledge the goodness in our lives.

Joy is derived in different ways for different people; however, we all know when we have it, we like it a lot and would love to keep it. Joy can come from various sources: your work, your interests, your family, your hobbies, things accomplished, challenges overcome, new experiences, and so on.

To the extent possible, the more we can replicate in our lives and in our career that feeling of joy, the happier we will be. Joy is one specific area readers explore in our book. It is one aspect of a Life and Career Planning Model© that helps individuals to be more intentional about their life and career while employing a strategic life plan. In our book, we ask you to write about several incidents in your life that produced joy. This is important when considering later aspects of the Life and Career Planning Model© and attempting to determine how to replicate those feelings through work and life.

Reflect on what brings you joy

We strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect on what brings you joy and then to actively seek to engage more with those sources. Reading chapter 2 in our book will help you with this.

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We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Is a Toxic Person Holding You Back?

Do you have a toxic person in your life? Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that you’re the product of the five people with whom you spend the most time. If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic in their relationship with you, you’ll soon find out how capable he or she is of holding you back from obtaining your life goals.

According to a Ladders article about toxic people, recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how serious toxic people are. “The study found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions, the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people, caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response.”

If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic in their relationship with you, you’ll soon find out how capable he or she is of holding you back from obtaining your life goals.

 The article notes, “Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.”

The impact of toxic people

In our book Time To Get Real! we ask you to consider any negative or toxic relationships that you need to work on or move away from. It’s important to recognize that relationships can hinder or help an individual’s progress toward his or her best life. Negative or toxic relationships poison the efforts of an individual from moving in a positive direction.

Brian was a good guy who found he was constantly dealing with criticism from his older brother, Michael. Brian would periodically approach Michael for advice on various issues impacting his life. Michael consistently found negative aspects in Brian’s decision-making or behavior. He did not reinforce or applaud Brian’s positive behavior or decisions. He dwelled on the negative. This really bothered Brian. What should he do? What would you do?

In this instance and in many others that you can think of, we have an individual attempting to move forward in their life but hitting a roadblock in the form of a negative or toxic relationship. Whether it’s a friend, family member, boss, or spouse doesn’t matter. What matters is that this frustration in the relationship makes you feel negative, non-trusting of the individual, and concerned that you cannot share your true feelings or innermost thoughts.  

You can seek the advice and help of one of your positive key relationships. You can seek guidance from a mentor or coach. Living with a negative or toxic relationship should not be an option.

Avoiding Toxic People

Just as a positive key relationship can help you move ahead to your best life, a negative or toxic relationship can prevent you from making progress. Refuse to live with a relationship that makes you feel bad, turns you off, creates negative energy and stress for you, and doesn’t help move you along to your best life. You can seek the advice and help of one of your positive key relationships. You can seek guidance from a mentor or coach. Living with a negative or toxic relationship should not be an option.

To buy the book, click here. Our book is rated 4.5 stars on Amazon.

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s vision and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Source: Bradberry, Travis, 2019, ’10 toxic people you should avoid like the plague’, The Ladders, May 16

The Power of Your Purpose Statement

When teaching or coaching individuals, we ask that they write a statement that describes their life’s purpose or mission. For most people this is not an easy exercise. It requires thinking about all the dimensions of your life, your relationships, your work, your personal motivations, and in some sense your spiritual or humanistic beliefs. A personal mission statement offers clarity and gives you a sense of purpose. It helps define who you are and how you will live. Frankly, it’s much easier to write a description of a job you want than to answer the question – why am I here?

A number of years ago Alex Plinio, author of Time To Get Real! had the opportunity to work with Frances Hesselbein, the CEO of the Girl Scouts of America, who had been named as the best executive leader in the United States in business, nonprofit, or government fields. She talked about the need that people have for a hope beyond the change experienced in their daily lives. She said that the need was for an anchor, a purpose, which provided meaning for their life and their work. We believe everyone needs this, but few people take the time to think about it and to provide that meaning for themselves.

We believe everyone needs a specified purpose, but few people take the time to think about it and to provide that meaning for themselves.

According to a 2018 article in the New York Times, “Only about a quarter of Americans strongly endorse having a clear sense of purpose and of what makes their lives meaningful, while nearly 40 percent either feel neutral or say they don’t. This is both a social and a public health problem: Research increasingly suggests that purpose is important for a meaningful life — but also for a healthy life.”

How to develop a purpose statement of your own

Our book Time To Get Real! examines those key aspects of your life and career, which enable you to understand your life’s mission or purpose. For example, chapter 5 in our book will take you step by step through developing your own purpose statement. You are asked to answer a number of questions such as – To what am I committed and what do I consider as non-negotiable in my life? What are the experiences, feelings, people, and values that are important to me?

You are asked to answer a number of questions such as – To what am I committed and what do I consider as non-negotiable in my life? What are the experiences, feelings, people, and values that are important to me?

Purpose statements can be quite powerful in motivating a person toward their specific life’s vision. The statement can help with decision making in all aspects of one’s life. As Francis Hasselbein has observed, a well thought out statement provides an anchor in life’s sea of change.

Align your life and career plan with your purpose

We strongly encourage you to take the time to reflect and develop your own purpose statement. Aligning all the parts of your life and career plan with your purpose is like fitting the pieces of a puzzle together. It provides the opportunity to make your life better and helps you feel good about your place in the world. Let your purpose strengthen your resolve, help you to make decisions, and bring you a level of comfort.

To buy the book, click here

We recommend that in addition to reading our book Time To Get Real! and working through the Life and Career Planning Model© that it provides, consider some amount of personal coaching that can help you to discern and activate your life’s mission and move you toward the best life and career that you deserve. All Life and Career Planning LLC coaches are experienced and certified in the Life and Career Planning Model© and serve as your accountability partner as you read each chapter of the book and capture your thoughts in the interactive exercises. To inquire about working with a coach, click here.

Source: Khullar, Dhruv, 2018, ‘Finding Purpose for a Good Life, But Also a Healthy One’, The New York Times, January 1