This topic in our book, Time To Get Real! will ask you to consider the personal values that you could not live without, those that you value the most. Values are ways of behavior, or basic tenets people would find exceptionally difficult to live without. They help determine who we are and who we want to be. It is important for you to understand your own personal values: what they are, what meaning they have in your life, and how they affect your behavior.
Why is this important? More than anything else when you read our book, you will learn that your values are going to determine much of your future. Holding on to them, being true to them, and making sure others see them in your behavior will send the most important messages you can send to anyone, be they your spouse, significant other, child, employer, friend, mentee, casual acquaintances, or just people you come across in your day to day life. In other words, since values show up only in behavior, they tell others who you are. It doesn’t matter who you say you are, your demonstrated values make clear who you are. John always talked to his friend, Neil, about the need to be honest and have personal integrity. He seemed to mention these values a number of times. Neil knew that John was having an extra marital affair with someone in his office. This was a case where Neil understood that John’s declaration of his personal values was completely negated by his behavior. It certainly made Neil less trusting of John in their own relationship.
Status, success, wealth, influence, and achievement are examples of personal values.
It is important to know whether your personal values match the organizational values of the company in which you work. We discuss organizational values as well in the book. If your personal values don’t match your employer’s values, you could have a values conflict.
Here is an example. At the Institute for Ethical Leadership at Rutgers University, which Alex co-founded and where he taught, he brought in a speaker to address an audience of corporate executives. The speaker was in a senior executive sales position in an international company. He felt that he had strong values and went on to describe how he resolved a values conflict. In his company, there was an exceptional push for results, and other sales managers were providing potential and current clients with monetary gifts and other rewards for making purchases of the company’s products. Of course, this was against the law. He said that the environment at the company and the fact that everyone else was breaking the law eroded his own values. He had a values conflict. He adopted the company’s values over his own, and therefore, that behavior eventually put him in a jail cell for almost two years.
Comparing your personal with the values of the organization in which you work isn’t that difficult. Some organizations state their values but in all cases, values of an organization are extant. They exist then and there because you see them in the behavior of the leaders and employees of the organization. So, what about you? Do you know your personal values? And do they fit with the values of the organization in which you work?
Happiness, honesty, creativity, compassion, kindness, and respect are more examples of personal values.
When you become more aware of these important principles in your life, you can use them to help make the best choices when new situations require a decision. Life's decisions are often about determining what a person values most.